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[dohaeras]

bkstrts & psls.

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[dohaeras]

You cannot have thought of everything.

[ Aemond pulls a sceptical face. ]

Have you ever thought about whether you would rather fight one big dragon or a thousand chicken-sized dragons?

[callmeadar]

I do not think even your family has a thousand chicken-sized dragons. I have, however, known of dragons being felled by lone warriors or small companies.

It is not a matter of having thought of literally everything, but I have my own experiences to draw upon, and the knowledge of many others, when a new situation arises. That it was not written down in a book does not make it less useful, only more difficult to share.

[dohaeras]

That is a long and waffling way of not answering my question.

[callmeadar]

Of if I have ever considered fighting tiny dragons? No. But that is not the point, either. Firstly, you would surely divorce me for killing dragons who were not about to eat me, and secondly, it doesn't matter how well you can recite someone else's treatise on life if you cannot draw up your own. It is good to compare, but you do not need books to do that. Experience is also a teacher. As are the people we meet on our journey.

[dohaeras]

Well, then you should write a book and I will read that! Not being able to draw up a treatise on life is hardly fair, I have lived twenty-one years while this author was ... far older. To say I do not need books to learn is ... foolish.

I think you are jealous of my books.

[callmeadar]

And I am older still but you complain that I do not like the philosophies of humans that do not live the length of years it took me to reach adulthood. It is not that I am wise and all-seeing, my love. Or beyond education, even, but I have browsed your books from time to time and for me there is little new or of value.

I am not, and have not said you do not get value from them. That is a different matter. I am not insulting you, your curiosity is one of your best features. [And your doggedness a debatable one.]

[dohaeras]

But you do believe there is little value in the views of even old and wizened humans, so I ought to read something by something ... else?

[ He doesn't want to waste his time reading sub-par philosophy. ]

[callmeadar]

[Headache, thy name is Aemond.

Adar takes a deep breath, then shifts them both slightly so he is sitting up more and can look at Aemond properly.]

Elves and men are alike in many ways, but not the same. I have known many wise men, and I remember them well. I do not need the books penned by strange men I do not know, whose world was so far apart from my own. I can draw well enough from experience that I am lucky enough to have had and remember. That is not so much the case for you, so the books draw your attention more. That is fine. Good, even.

You should read whatever and whoever stokes the fire in your heart and not concern yourself with whether I find value in it as long as you do. It is your life, and you know your own needs and curiosities better than even your ancient old husband does.

[dohaeras]

[ He doesn't know if that is helpful, only informative, and there is a difference in the two. Adar is forever going to be far more worldly and clever, and Aemond feels awfully silly trying to show him what feels meaningful from whatever books he can find; it is a different embarrassment to being caught reading porn and a relatively worse-feeling one. ]

I do not want to read things that you do not find worth your time. Would you take a look in the library at the castle, and choose something for me instead?

[ Adar's approval means a great deal. ]

[callmeadar]

Alright. [He agrees because he can see that Aemond does not especially want to hear his point. Different doesn't mean worthless, after all, and Adar finds Aemond's thoughts plenty worthy of hearing even if he has heard them a thousand times from a thousand different mouths. When they belong to his husband they feel different.]

Do not think I have been trying to belittle you, though, Aemond. [If he was it would be much more keenly felt and cruel.] Elves are arrogant pieces of shit, after all, we tend to come off worse than we meant.

[dohaeras]

No, it's as you say. You are a terrifically old thing and I've barely lived at all, and when I did there was little time for books. Not as much as I would have liked.

[ There was a lot of blood, though. ]

[callmeadar]

And now all you have is time. [He sighs, then pulls Aemond closer to him, wrapping him up in the comfort of his arms.]

My love, the night of our wedding when you were drunk on my blood... you did tell me what happened in your world. About your death. [It was little wonder he wanted so badly to fill his mind instead of thinking of what was and now could never be.]

[dohaeras]

I remember something of that night.

[ He wasn't going to talk about it because it's, firstly, depressing, and secondly, an ignoble end. ]

There is nothing more to tell about it.

[callmeadar]

[The only glorious end was a peaceful one, which was a sort of ending elves did not know. Not that their lives were ever truly forfeited, just their fëa displaced for a time. Still. He didn't like knowing Aemond died poorly, and it seemed to him that some of this obsession with philosophers was a desire to work out where he went wrong or how he might have done better, might have lived.]

I do not think that is true. But also I would not wish for you to not know what you told me, even if you now recall some of it. [He presses a kiss to his temple, nosing past the hair that falls there.]

[dohaeras]

[ He sways with the kiss to his temple, an arm over the one wrapped around him. ]

I know I told you, but not the words used.

[callmeadar]

I was telling you why unions between elves and men are seldom done, a list that can be summed up in that the grief of it will go with us the rest of our days. And you, I think a little offended on behalf of all mankind decreed that you were already dead.

Which I did not know. [And he had stayed remarkably calm about, all things considered.]

I did not believe you, because you were high on dark magic and had never said anything about it before. But you told me, then, how it happened. About your uncle's blade and how it pierced you, about how you fell out of the sky and thought your uncle followed you to your death.

[dohaeras]

[ Wow, he really was high if he cared about all of mankind. He hums, chin on Adar's chest. ]

He leapt from the saddle of Caraxes and I could not unchain myself in time. Dark Sister found my eye and throat, and I was pinned to Vhagar so we both fell into the water of the God's Eye. A lake.

I do not remember the pain, only my anger that it was over.

[callmeadar]

Anger is its own kind of pain. [He would certainly know, for he was full of both. It seemed sometimes a wonder that he ever had room for anything else within his heart or mind.]

You said also that you did not tell me because you thought I would not want you if I knew.

[dohaeras]

[ His shrug is small and admits it. ]

I had nothing to offer.

[callmeadar]

[Another kiss is pressed to his temple and he pulls him even tighter against his body, fully onto his lap.]

You have much to offer, much more than me. You are young and clever and keen to learn. You are as sweet as you are sharp. You are handsome and eager. And I wanted you before you said more than a sentence to me.

[dohaeras]

[ That is very good to know, humming as he kisses him gratefully. ]

... I was very scared of you, before we spoke.

[ Not anymore, loser!! He slings a leg over Adar's lap and wraps his arms around him, using him as a mattress. His long hair makes for a soft pillow on Adar's shoulder. ]

You seemed to always be angry at whatever the subject was, at anyone.

[callmeadar]

Hmm. [Well, he will not argue about getting turned back into a place of comfort for Aemond. He kisses the top of his head instead.]

I fear you have not yet seen me angry. At best back then I was mildly annoyed. Mostly I wanted to keep people from getting close to me, however... being my friend has seldom ended well.

[dohaeras]

It ended marvellously for me.

[callmeadar]

So long as Sauron does not ever wake in this strange in-between, yes.

[But absolutely not if he does.]

[dohaeras]

Or my uncle.

[ Because those two are entirely comparable. He pats Adar's chest, soothing. ]

He could not keep me from you, we are married.