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[dohaeras]

bkstrts & psls.

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[dohaeras]

Uh. It was, uh.

[ omg calm DOWN EVERYONE CALM DOWN!! ]

A woman called Alys Rivers, the last bastard of the Strong family. I ... killed them all, with which she took some issue, [ now he's all awkward, ] and so she had her revenge on me with her love philtres and potions. She was old but looked younger, she wanted my ... my seed. Being a Targaryen.

[ Flustered, he raises his head from Adar's shoulder and scowls in earnest. ]

She meant nothing to me, I swear! I would not have wed a witch, let alone a Strong.

[callmeadar]

[His eyes narrow at the description of events, and even more at the way Aemond acts as though he had done anything wrong when–]

Aemond that is rape. Love potions force consent, it is rape. It is not your fault. [The murder, sure, but not what followed after.]

[dohaeras]

I was the one who could not break free of her influence.

[ He was weak for that, distressed in his bones over it. ]

Because of it my family were slain. I let her lead me around the riverlands, setting fire to everything for months while she rode on Vhagar, safe from everyone. Even me. If I had not fought my uncle and simply returned home, my family would have been safe.

[callmeadar]

If she is your fault then Sauron and all my children are my fault as well. [This has often been a sticking point with Aemond, one he would not allow Adar to think, so though Adar does blame himself he hopes it will shake Aemond free of this foolish notion.]

[dohaeras]

Sauron was a dark lord!

[ He has to wheeze out a laugh, incredulous. ]

Hundreds of years of torture are far more significant than what time I was captive.

[callmeadar]

He was. But he did not drug me, he changed me, yes, but kept my mind. I was his, Aemond, and often willingly. Was there a choice? Perhaps not, but it felt like I had one sometimes and I still did not flee or fight him.

[He reaches to cup Aemond's face, to make him look at him.] It was not your fault nor your choice.

[dohaeras]

[ The touch on his face is nice, he leans into it. The sickness and guilt he feels about the whole half-year he lost to Alys is still a burr in his throat, because no matter what anyone says Vhagar in King's Landing could have turned the tide of the Dance of Dragons. Aemond could have saved his family.

And he failed. ]

When I asked if you wanted me because we could not have children, it was partly my own fear I spoke with. I do not want to sire any more.

[callmeadar]

[Perhaps it could have, but you could hardly fight a war when another had control over your body. Still not his fault.]

We could steal one if we ever got broody. [He says, lightly.] None... most of my children are not... you would not like them. But I also would never have asked for a child. I have had enough.

[dohaeras]

[ Aemond, don't — ]

Mmm. You are sometimes my daddy, as we know.

[callmeadar]

Hmmmmn.

[Aemond. Please.]

[dohaeras]

Do you see how I lightened the mood there.

[callmeadar]

Only if you're trying to see if it would be fun to get put over my very fatherly knee. [Which he probably is, don't encourage him.]

It is still not your fault.

[dohaeras]

[ That's not a disinterested brow that lifts ... but, anyway. ]

I remember clearer snatches here and there when I might have slain her, when she failed to keep me dosed. [ Cheek on Adar's shoulder again, he curls a hand in the front of his soft tunic. ] Mercifully, never when she used me.

[callmeadar]

[He wraps Aemond back up in his arms, his hands stroking through his hair and down his back again and again in a gentle, soothing motion.] It is easy to freeze or be too befuddled to do what you later think you should have, in the moment. That still does not make it your fault.

[dohaeras]

I fear the witch will walk toward me in the castle, out of nowhere. Around a corner. More so than seeing my uncle.

[ He closes his eyes, hidden and safe in Adar's arms. ]

You must kill her if she finds her way here.

[callmeadar]

She would soon mistake me for my former master even without knowing him to fear him if she showed her face here, my love.

[dohaeras]

Thank you. I love you.

[ And also, ]

I will also keep Sauron far from you, rest assured.

[callmeadar]

No. Absolutely not. If Sauron is here, you leave. Go as far as the land will allow you to.

[Never, ever has he sounded more forceful about anything.]

[dohaeras]

I will not run away when your terrifying former lover rears his head.

[ He looks up, annoyed. ]

You are mine to protect, Adar, however much you may regret agreeing to that in vows. Twice.

[callmeadar]

Aemond, running is the only thing you can do. You cannot fight a dragon with fists and you cannot take down a maiar with a single sword. Or even two. Not really. Not forever.

I regret nothing I have promised you, what I regret and am grateful for all at once is how fundamentally you do not understand this problem.

[dohaeras]

Then I will talk to him.

[callmeadar]

Almost a worse choice than trying to pummel him.

What would you talk to him about?

[dohaeras]

I would be polite.

[callmeadar]

That is not what I asked, love.

[dohaeras]

I would tell him not to talk or look at you again if he wished not to be cleaved into pieces for my dragon's supper. Respectfully.